Banter? I just met her...
My name is Yuke-a
Riding a buzz and a bus, I began my pilgrimmage home last night after my company's coming out party. I was reading my new book, "Che" when a gaggle of boys and girls boarded the bus with tons of energy. I soon learned from their lack of subtlety, and my gift of eavesdropping, they were drunk. They ranged from 11 to 14. Probably. I think. One of the women blindly pours herself into me and the unoccupied seat next to me. She then bends over and starts voraciuosly spewing from the mouth. Not cuss words. Not jibberish. Not audible. But at one time edible. This smell hits us like a ton of bricks. People get up and move. I try not to make more of a scene and embarass her even more than she has managed on her own. Finally I get up. Her friend helps her. Her other friend begins yelling at all of us who moved to get away from the smell of belly acid, "You mutha fuckas! Like ya'll are so high and mighty that ya'll have never partied hard and gotten sick. Goddam hypocrites. I'll take all of ya'll. Like ya'll never got sick before. All ya'll bitches."
I got off the bus two stops early.
There had to be more than one barber in Seville. I mean come on.
Santa Claus, Santa Cruz, Santa Ana, Santiago, Santa Maria and sans vestidos are not all holiday mascots. Nor colanders.
My head is killing me but my lungs are not.
73 hours. Yep. I feel better.
I haven't had a cigarette in 48 hours.
I haven't had a cigarette in 36 hours.
I saw a fireman who had BOTH girls 'Elimidate' THEMSELVES in the final round. What is happening here?
"Strange isn't it, that the very themes of achievement and disgrace that animate our history would be expressed in something so universal (and benign) as a boxscore, an improbable athletic feat, a magazine cover. Who could have guessed that, henceforth, anything worthwhile could be demonstrated on, say, a basketball court-racial harmony, affluence, cooperation, style, commerce? Who could have possibly known that?"
-Richard Hoffer. SI. Vol. 99. No.2
Doggie Fizzle Televizzle is the best new tv show I have seen in years. No kidding. I was watching it last night, by myself, and laughing out loud. Hard. Check it out.
My videowork was so neglected
because I got a new friend called Telecaster.
Now my new friend cool, video project
is neglecting my old friend Telecaster.
Can't we all just get along.
Just because you own a cellphone does not give you the right to be a rude asshole. It does not come with that feature. People on cell phones are just flat out rude. All people. As soon as that annoying piece of non-progress shrills, the recipient turns on the i'm-an-asshole-machine...internally. They speak at above normal volumes on the silent bus, they order food while they are on the phone telling the server to "hold on" while there are 10 people waiting in line behind them. No you don't own the world. So hang up, go talk to your friends at your desk and quit forcing me to be a part of your stupid fucking date last night. I don't give a shit!!
If I ever discover anything, a new land, a scientific formula, a religion, a new dessert topping, I refuse to name it after my person. I think that is too i-am-the-greatest-y. I will name my discovery a new word. A made up word. Which will become a word because of my discovery. And with the naming of the discovery I will also be credited with a new word. Two birds, one stone.
Jeffrey Saunders: Discoverer; linguist.
Her scone talked to her like a Cinnabon
Sweet, sweet goo
She did long for Frappacinno
but he had a night cap
When dogs fight, it is brutal.
When cats fight, it curdles the skin.
When food fights, you shouldn't be eating it.
Rest in Peace Jed Clampett.
What if she was "Illegally" Blond? There wouldn't be a 2.